what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
