If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
