It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
