I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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