It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Congratulations! We have a period
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
