We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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