There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Randomize
