Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
