If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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