The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Randomize
