i would punch a child for taco bell
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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