brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Randomize
