Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize