It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Randomize
