drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
