I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
