Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
