you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
