Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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