But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
