I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
