His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
