she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Randomize
