the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
