Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
