just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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