actually, I'm a sock model
I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I cockslap morals
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize