This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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