YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
