dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
