I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Randomize
