your thong is hanging out like whoa
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I supernannyed him into submission
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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