Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
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