I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
