Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
