STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
