she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
