so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Randomize
