Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
