I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
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