I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
