I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize