I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Randomize
