You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize