Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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