Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
