She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Randomize
