So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
