3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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