Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
