Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Randomize
