Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
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