And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
