Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Randomize
