remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
