So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
