Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
please don't ironically join a cult
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